It has been a normal procedure in Kerala now to see the death of married women due to domestic violence on the dowry given at the time of marriage. Some of them are murders and others belong to suicide category. Anyway, the end of marriage comes as end of these women. As a person from Kerala, it has been a shame to face the world due to the news of these kinds that comes from my place.
It is a paradox that Kerala, a state with highest literacy rate, rates number one in the system of dowry marriages too. Thus it proves literacy of people has nothing to do with knowledge of people. Parents of gentlemen are ready to bargain and parents of ladies are ready to accept the demands made. It is a firm belief that malayali have whether a girl is given education or not, she has to be given dowry and that too as per quoted by her future partner and family. Its better if she feel ‘less’ self sufficient, financially dependent and rational, reasonable and logical. If somebody is submissive with no suggestion, wish and interest, she would be the perfect example of modest woman. This is not limited to any special religion, caste, or any social or financial strata of this Kerala society. This society as whole think a girl has to be sending off with wealth then only she will have some value. So in short she is considered as a value less item in own house so that she is send with wealth to in laws because her parents don’t want some loss to that family!!!
Not every family is like that, I agree. But, even though these arrangements are not made or no talk about wealth happens, people still got a belief that parents share of wealth to girl should be announced to the groom and family. More than that, a girl is not considered as someone with the capacity to take decisions of her own life. Financial independence is still something that attributed to men only. Of course women around are found to be financially independent yet most of the time I used to hear that they got the permission from their counter parts for being so. It’s still a custom that women have to get permission from men for anything because they are women. It’s not a question of who's better to whom. They called it marriage; it’s the life of those people and normal people discuss and plan. If man is doubtful woman can help and vice versa, but unfortunately this is not the case. The society I live think men has to be the decision makers, and men are proud to announce this that they give their wives freedom!!!
So, these kinds of families force a lot of women to live their life with suffocation. At the end, some ends life, some gets out of that burden. The patriarchal society is the reason for those deaths. All are responsible; people who silently allow these bad customs and people who never object. Recently when these suicides news were on front pages of newspaper, I remember seeing a scene that happened at that time in some channel. That serial is said to be of an iron lady and it’s all about women power and revenge. The model woman of this serial is saying that her sister after marriage may not come to college to finish her graduation because the groom has to decide it. And in many scenes the same kind of dialogues are said. It was really shocking to hear such things in a serial, especially from the leading lady are boasted of to be the model woman of this age. Anyway it’s just a serial, but this is the thing happen with our society. Hope these nonsense stop soon. Hope all will understand people are wealth, regardless of gender. Just wish all relationships start on love, respect and understanding than on the agreement of wealth made between known and unknown people of those tie knot.
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